We, humans, like to take care of things ( mostly females), Is it the innate maternal instinct? Here’s a very small example, you will find really old clothes sitting perfectly in their wardrobes, some even 10-15 years old, worn once or twice, some still with their price tags on, some which might not even fit anymore.. does it say that they love taking care of things? Or they’re just hoarders? Maybe they just like holding on to things. I would like to believe that I’m not the only one, & others like me exist too, maybe even men?
Does that mean we are sensitive people? or just get attached to things easily? afraid of letting go? End up creating a kinda-sorta relationship with non-living things. Are we just compensating for our failed relationships? Maybe that’s the only place where you feel in control, & can actually keep the things you love with you, as long as you want or can. Does that give one the feeling of control, of one’s life? Why letting go is so hard?
What are we looking for? Love? Stability? Control? For most people, It’s stability. on the other hand, Love is a great act to follow, not everyone can do that, people screw things up again & again, sometimes, with no intentions to. Only if the person comes with a manual, “how to love me right’’, things would be easier, right? Or can we screw up with the manual too? that’s why they say ” communication is the key ”? but is it really? what if you keep commuting, even handle the manual, but the other person does understand a word, I think understanding or a will to understand is the key.
Only if it was easy to hold on to people you love, forever, like a dress, or get them custom made would have made life so easy, but also boring? Nothing to learn new about oneself, yes! in a relationship we learn as much about ourselves as the other person ( obviously if You are actually paying attention), can we say that It’s life’s way of teaching us about ourselves? All kinds of ships, sailing us through life, friendSHIP, or any other RelationSHIP, May be that is the whole purpose of life, think about it, how else would you learn about your human traits, isn’t it the first step towards a better version of you, how else?
But we constantly keep failing at it, why?
The diagnosis, The learning, the improving, Why we don’t want to admit that we were wrong, why there are always explanations & excuses?
Last year,
I have trusted people ( & I have real trust issues), & they turn out to be snitch, shared pieces of me, only to be used, against me later ( one of the worst kinds of human behavior), friends who bitched about everyone, but the moment, I shared something with someone close to me, suddenly it’s a crime. You are not allowed to feel bad & sad about a person’s actions or words, share your thoughts & disappointments with one person you trust? Guess what, you are! You are human, as much as they are, you were their confidant all these years & you are allowed to put your confidence in somebody too, sheer bad luck if the person turns outs to be not so trustworthy, how would have you know.
An insecure guy acting on his own insecurities, these things say a lot about them, & me, I keep giving chances, because I don’t actually want them out of my life, like the dress, which is giving me rashes, but I still love, I am a hoarder or just in love, not that I don’t see the problem, I see it, I try to get out of it, but the moment you hear a meaningless sorry, a cry for help, an assurance that things will actually get better, then all you can think of is, that this is the dress you love, & you are so good together, just the itching has to stop & will stop & then everything will be fine.
Why we don’t see wrong in our actions?
The people who bitch about others, keep complaining about others, hate that someone is complaining about them to somebody else.
People who are hiding something from you, keep trying to find what you are hiding from them, People who are insecure, out of nowhere do something they would not like to be done to them, We all are doing things, which we don’t want to be done to us, Isn’t it should be opposite of it?
Why it’s hard to let go of clothes which don’t even fit anymore? Even though you don’t look at them, they are still somewhere in the closet holding unnecessary space. Why does it hurts, even the thought that it will fit someone else, does it happen with everyone? Isn’t that how it should be, doesn’t work for you, so obviously not meant for you & maybe will fit somebody else, only Acceptance of this fact, will set you free, but it doesn’t come easy.
Do you have hard times letting go of things, a relationship, of any kind, Why do we keep letting people back in? or stay that long in an unpleasant situation/mental state? For what? Closure? Change? Apologies? Hope? Especially after, what they have put you through? What’s the right answer? When is the right time to give up/let go? Or we are not supposed to give up until one day holding on becomes unbearable? or letting go of someone at the first major inconvenience, is the wisest thing to do?
Have people filled the closet with so much old stuff, that there is no place for new? or it’s just me!?